i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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