i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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