i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
