don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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