I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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