drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
