Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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