did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
