i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
