How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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