I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize