Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
