Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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