I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
whose parrot is this?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
