found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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