Your tits are I can't wait for
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
this will be a night to untag.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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