no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
