We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm way too hungover for life right now
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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