There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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