I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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