i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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