Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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