Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
