I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
