There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Who died my cat blue again?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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