I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
