I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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