girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
