Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
