I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
