Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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