So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize