I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
