WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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