I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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