He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
