the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
