how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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