Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
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