Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
