May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
did i just pee glitter
A+ Viking dick
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
