So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
