Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
