I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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