Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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