i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
