the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
