They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
