Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
