Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize