u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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