nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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