I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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