if i died would you start the facebook group?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
True college students do jello shots in the library
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
