STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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