16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
