This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
