we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize