drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Randomize
