Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
