i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize