since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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