new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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