I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
