mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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