Only a mothe r could love this liver
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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