Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
