I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
It was confusing and full of hummus
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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