There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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