are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
