goodnight i made you a song goodbye
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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