Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
