New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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