Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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